From a young age, across cultures, most have been made to believe that self-centred pursuits as inherently greedy or unkind. Acting selfishly has been profoundly condemned in the society.
History tells a different story. Some left their homes, went against the odds, defying their family, culture, legacy to accomplish remarkable feats in the fields of humanity, art, business, or science. Many have read about them and the immense challenges they faced. Were they Selfish to leave their abodes and embark on uncharted paths in pursuit of what they believed in? From great Prince Siddhartha or even our modern-day icons like Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa who devoted their life for a cause.
Why then, doing what one wants or lives how he choose is considered a selfish act? Whether it involves the daily choices he make or the grand ambitions he pursues? If pursuing one’s passion and innate desires is harmless to others, why should it be judged negatively, condemned, or controlled?
Parents, family, spouses, and friends are attached to each other in certain way. Pursuing a way of life, which challenges their expectations, beliefs, and view of society at large, is often seen as selfish acts. They act from stand point of their own needs and attachments, while another person acts from his.
Whether in their jobs, relationships or family, a person who claims to be selfless, is just unknown to their attachment of need. Ego self or fabricated self, convinces one that they operate solely for the benefit of others. It resists acknowledging that the self is inherently selfish and driven by its own interests.
If selfishness were not accompanied by guilt, most people would be very comfortable to accept their selfish nature and carry on with their lives as normal.
Acts of charity largely serve as means to overcome this guilt and reinforce an image of selflessness, providing validation to an altruistic way of living. Mind chases a guilt free state, many even deny having asked God for anything in their prayers, claiming they only express gratitude. This is just laughable and being naive.
My friend truth is, all humans operate from the centre of SELF. There is no happiness, anger, suffering, jealousy, or even great pursuits without the self at the centre. Anyone who claims to be selfless is living an unexamined life and is just as selfish. Some rare souls do for the larger good of humanity, some for their own needs, desires and happiness.
If one truly understood this fact, profound truths would emerge, allowing them to perceive others and their actions without judgment of good or bad, paving the way for some wisdom and ultimately, an equitable life.
Being selfish and being evil are not the same thing. Living with attachment to the idea that one is solely doing for the happiness of other person, and you will miss the whole point. Understanding of this can open a door to live a life of less judgement and conflict.
Pursuing a way of life that requires making choices outside society’s and family norms will inevitably lead to external conflict, resistance and a mountain of internal guilt.
A sincere and honest pursuit, causing no harm or attempt to change other is Not a selfish way of living but living as per nature’s will.
